Umoor.EU - Humor and Buzz

Give me a color between 0 and 10:
- Wednesday!
- You're stupid is not America!

A man sits in a rugby stadium, this is the final of the World Cup and all the seats are sold for months.

A side of him, a place is empty.

Obviously very angry, the guy sitting on the other side of the empty space asks who owns the place, because it's still a shame to leave an empty place on the day of the final.

The man replied that it was the place of his wife, and they were in every game since they were married, but she just died ...

The guy on the other side and he apologizes present the condolences.

Then he asked: "Nobody in your family has wanted to go with you? '

"Nope, they're all at the funeral"

Bruno stops at each return from hunting in the cafe Laura for a drink.

He has a bad habit of brutally put his gun against the bar by tapping the butt on the ground.

Laura reprimand each time:
- One day you'll forget in a cartridge and it will be a disaster. "

And of course, one day the shot was fired.
- That said Laura, I told you! Today, the rest is good and room is right above!
I dare not go.
Go you! "

Bruno goes to the floor and comes back saying:
- All is well! the right was lengthened on the bed, legs apart. The move is happening between her legs without touching!

- Phew, Laura said, it is a miracle!

- Indeed, Bruno said. By cons, your husband, he has no head!

+ 22 ° C: the people of Ecuador put a sweater out ...
+ 18 ° C: the people of Hawaii are two blankets to sleep ...
+ 10 ° C: Helsinki residents put out heat, it's too hot ...
+ 08 ° C: Russians begin gardening ...
+ 05 ° C: the Canadian stop out t-shirt ...
+ 02 ° C: Italian cars do not start out more ...
0 ° C: water freezes ...
- 01 ° C: when you breathe it's the smoke. Russians eat ice cream and drink cold beer ...
- 04 ° C: your dog tries to squat your bed ...
- 10 ° C: in France the cars start out more ...
- 12 ° C: the United States no longer ...
- 15 ° C: Canadians are starting to get down jackets and snow-bikes ...
- 18 ° C: the inhabitants of Helsinki rekindle heating, during this time the Hawaiians were frozen ...
- 20 ° C: breathing becomes audible in the cold, frozen face ..
- 21 ° C: if you manage to get the dog needs immediately freeze ...
- 24 ° C: German cars do not start out more ...
- 28 ° C: your dog tries to get into your pajamas ...
- 30 ° C: in Sweden the cars start out more ...
- 34 ° C: no more car starts, except for Russian ...
- 38 ° C: the Russians close their coat until the last button
- 40 ° C: Canadians begin to emerge gloves, scarves and hats
- 45 ° C: the Russian cars not start out well, even vodka ...
- 50 ° C: the inhabitants of Helsinki frozen ...
- 55 ° C: Canadian snow-bikes not start out more ...
- 60 ° C: seals leave the North Pole to go south ...
- 75 ° C: the Santa Claus leaves the North Pole, too ...
- 120 ° C: Alcohol frozen, the Russians are angry ...

A father who knows how to touch her asshole with his cock and that it will be useful

2 girls in a cemetery ... bourree

Sarkozy and Fillon are in an airplane.

Fillon said: I take a ticket of € 200 and I make a happy.
Sarko said I throw 10 tickets € 20 and I rend10 people happy.

The driver sighed and said to his co-pilot: Listen to these arrogant, they not realize that if I throw 2 ... assholes, I pay 62 million French happy.

Two young people in the train Paris-Montargis

• If Jesus came back today, do you think he would receive an email from Hadopi?
• Ben why?
• He still illegally reproduce and distribute bread. It had to really lower the rag business bakers!

Source: brevesdetrottoir.fr

This is a Belgian who boarded a train.

In the compartment are already two French suits and ties who type on their computers.

Our brave Belgian settled near both French and began to eat his sandwich. After a few minutes, he asked one of the two men, with a strong emphasis Belge:

- "I know where Puiche z'allez you?"
- "Well, I'm going to PARISS" answers, a mocking, French.

The Belgian misunderstood and answers:
- "PARISSSS?"

Tie and replied:
- "Yes, two S PARIS!"

Belgian wonder why Paris with two S but do not add deguster and continues his sandwich. A little later, he speaks French and the other asked:

- "And you, where are you going?"
- "Well me, answered the second French, also a mocking, I go to Bordeaux with two X!"

The Belgian did not answer and asks the two men who mocked him.

Suddenly one of the two French ties turn to our Belgian and asks:

- "And you, where are you going?"
- "Well me, I'm going to Macon, with two cons"