Umoor.EU - Humor and Buzz

• "I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I was not there.? - At the President's Economic Forum in Waco, Texas, August 13, 2002
• "We spend a lot of time talking about Africa, as it should. Africa is a nation that suffers from incredible disease. "- Gothenburg, Sweden, June 14, 2001
• "You teach a child to read, and he or she will be able to pass a test of language skills." - Townsend, Tennessee, Feb 21, 2001
• "I'm here to make an announcement that this Thursday, ticket counters and airplanes will fly from airport Ronald Reagan."? Washington, Oct. 3, 2001? the I is not on any seized
• "The Tribal sovereignty means that? it's sovereign. I mean, you - you had sovereignty, and you are regarded as a sovereign entity. And therefore the relationship between the federal government and tribes is such that it is between sovereign entities. " ? Washington, DC, August 6, 2004
• "I could not imagine somebody like Osama bin Laden understanding the joy of Hanukkah."? The White House during a ceremony of lighting the menorah, Washington, DC, Dec. 10, 2001
• "You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war against terrorism." ? Interview with CBS News' Katie Couric, Sept. 6, 2006
• "People who bomb innocent people in Iraq are the same as those we have attacks on America on September 11."? Washington, July 12, 2007
• "I am the commander-you see, I did not need to explain - I do not need to explain why I say things. This is what is interesting about being president. "? Quoted by Bob Woodward's Bush at War
• "F * ck Saddam. We will do it. "? Three U.S. senators in March 2002, a year before the invasion of Iraq, as quoted by Time magazine
• "Oh, no, we will never have a single victim / loss."? 2003, as quoted by Robertson
• "I not going to direct a withdrawal, even if Laura and Barney are the only ones supporting me."? has had Republicans about Iraq, as quoted by Bob Woodward
• "I heard there are rumors on the Internet, we will have a draft."? Presidential debate in St. Louis, Mo., Oct. 8, 2004
• "I know how difficult it is for you to put food on your family."? Greater Nashua, NH, Chamber of Commerce, January 27, 2000? Otherwise impossible to translate because it is really the meaning of the sentence in English
• "Do you have blacks, too? ? For Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Washington, DC, November 8, 2001
• "This stuff of foreign policy, it's a little frustrating."? As quoted by the New York Daily News, April 23, 2002
• "My plan will reduce the national debt, and fast. So fast, in fact, that economists are worried about the possibility that we will run out of debt retirement. "? Radio address, Feb. 24, 2001
• "I do not think anybody anticipated the weakness of the levees."? On "Good Morning America" ​​on 1 September 2005, six days after repeated warnings by experts about the extent of the damage expected from Hurricane Katrina
• "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully."? Saginaw, Mich., Sept. 29, 2000
• "I would say the best moment was when I caught a fish in my lake of3 pounds." ? On his best moment was the white house, interview with the German newspaper Bild am Sonntag, May 7, 2006
• 'They misunderestimated me. "? Bentonville, Ark., Nov. 6, 2000? Untranslatable neologism but enormous, worthy of the power bravitude 3.
• "Because the - all that is on the table begins to be great cost. For example, how to calculate profits, for example, is on the table, whether or not base on wage increases or price increases. There are a series of parts of the formula are to consider. And when you additioner this, these different cost drivers, affecting those? change with these personal accounts, the idea is to get what is promised - or closer to what was promised. You see? it is a bit confused ". ? Explaining his plan to save Social Security, Tampa, Florida, February 4, 2005? Very rough translation? Watch the English version
• "For every fatal shooting, there were roughly three nonfatal shootings. And, friends, this is unacceptable in America. This is simply unacceptable. And we will do something to change that. "? Philadelphia, Penn., May 14, 2001
• "This is an impressive crowd - the rich and richer. Some people call you the elite - I call you my base. " ? 2000 Al Smith dinner
• "Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."? LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000
• "I know what I think. I will continue to enunciate what I think and what I believe - I believe what I believe is right. "? Rome, Italy, July 22, 2001
• "See, in my work you must constantly repeat things over and over again so that the truth appears, to ensure to catapult the propaganda." ? Greece, NY, May 24, 2005
• "People ask, how can they help in the war against terrorism? How can they fight against evil? You can do this by taking guardianship of a child, going into a prison and say I love you. "? Washington, Sept. 19, 2002
• "I would hope that you have given me this question in advance so I can anticipate my answer? I'm sure something will come out of my head, in the midst of this press conference, with all the pressure of the need to find answers, but it has not yet emerged? I do not want to give the impression of someone who has never made a mistake. I am convinced that I made. I did not just not do - You put something light and maybe I'm not fast enough to find the correct answer quickly. ? After being invited to name the biggest mistake he ever made, Washington, DC, April 3, 2004
• "You forgot Poland."? To Senator John Kerry during the first presidential debate, after Kerry had failed to mention Poland's contributions to the Iraq war coalition, Miami, Florida, Sept. 30, 2004
• "We have a lot of rebuilding to do. First, we will save lives and stabilize the situation. And we will help these communities rebuild. The good news is - and it is difficult for some to see it now - that was the end of this chaos we will find the fantastic Gulf Coast, as it was before. On the rubble of Trent Lott's house - he lost his entire house - there will be a fantastic house. And I can not wait to sit on the porch. "(Laughter) - by visiting the hurricane damage, Mobile, Ala., Sept. 2, 2005
• "The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa."? State of the Union Address, January 28, 2003, the administration officials knew at the time such false information.
• "The most important thing for us is to find Osama bin Laden. It is our number one priority and we will not rest until we find him. "? Washington, September 13, 2001
• "I do not know where bin Laden is. I have no idea and I do not really care. It's not that important. It's not our priority. "? Washington, March 13, 2002
• "Can we win? I do not think you can win. "? After being asked whether the war against terrorism is winnable, "Today" show interview, Aug. 30, 2004
• "I just want you to know that when we talk about war, we are really talking about peace."? Washington, DC June 18, 2002
• "I am convinced that God speaks through me. Otherwise, I could not do my job. "? A group of Amish meets privately, July 9, 2004
• "The majority of combat operations in Iraq have ended. In the battle of Iraq, the United States and our allies have prevailed. "? Speaking under a "Mission Accomplished" banner aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln, May 1, 2003
• "We have found weapons of mass destruction. We found biological laboratories? And we'll find more weapons as more and as time passes. But for those who say that we did not find plants proscribed weapons or simply banned weapons, they are wrong, We find. "? Washington, May 30, 2003
• "Those weapons of mass destruction interest has to be somewhere!"? Joking about his administration for the failure to find WMD in Iraq. Radio & TV Correspondents Association dinner, Washington, DC, March 24, 2004
• "Rarely lea question is asked: our children learn anything?"? Florence, South Carolina, January 11, 2000
• "As yesterday's positive report has shown, children learn when the level is high and results are measured."? The No Child Left Behind Act, Washington, DC, Sept. 26, 2007
• "If it were a dictatorship, it would be incredibly easier, only insofar as I am the dictator."? Washington, DC, December 19, 2000
• "I'm the decider and I decide what is best. And best for Don Rumsfeld to remain defense secretary. "? Washington, DC, April 18, 2006
• "There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says, fool you once, shame on - shame on you. Bernez me - you can not fool me again. "? Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002
• "Too many good docs are closing their offices. Too many gynecologists are not able to practice their love with women across this country. " ? Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept. 6, 2004
• "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so do we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we. "? Washington, DC, Aug 5, 2004
• "You have three jobs? So american?, Does not it? I mean, it's great that you are doing that. "? A divorced mother with three children, Omaha, Nebraska, Feb. 4, 2005
• "Brownie, you're doing an incredible job." ? The FEMA director Michael Brown, who resigned 10 days later amid criticism over his handling of the Hurricane Katrina debacle, Mobile, Ala., Sept. 2, 2005
• "My answer is bring us the opposite."? on Iraqi insurgents attacking U.S. Forces, Washington, DC, July 3, 2003

Marries a guy returning from a business trip to China where he had a good time with some pretty eyes flanges.

But when he returns, he realizes that his thing is green.

It hides the first thing his wife somehow and goes to see a doctor.

Ha-ha ... it was in China my friend ...?

-Yeah!

- And we did stupid things with small Chinese?

- Yeah!

- Ben is very serious! .... Unfortunately, nothing can do about it, you'll have to cut it.

The guy does not believe his ears! So, he decides to consult a second physician who confirms the diagnosis.

The guy is completely depressed and goes to see a urologist to fame

World, which also confirms the diagnosis.

He then decided to confess his escapades to his wife who, after

a good scolding, advises him to go see a doctor on site Chinese, China.

After all, they are surely familiar with this infection.

The guys back then in China and makes an appointment with a doctor deemed.

On examination, the doctor says and chuckles Chinese:

- Hi hi, we came to Cine?

- Yeah!

- And we made mistakes with small cinoises?

- Yeah!

- And it was docteul eulopeen Voil?

- Yeah!

- And docteul eulopeen said had to be cut?

- Yeah!

- Well no! No need to cut.

The guy does not believe his ears! He is overjoyed.

That's when the Chinese doctor specifies:

- No, no docteul eulopeen! not need to cut, will fall on its own ..

World statistics in real time. World statistics on the population live, education, environment, food, energy ...

Awesome!

It's Here For http://www.worldometers.info/fr/

Vomited Live On TV

You're at a party and you see a very attractive girl.

You come up to her and you tell him:
"I am a very good shot"

It is Direct Marketing.

You're at an evening with a group of friends and you see a very attractive girl.

One of your friends approaches her and says:
"See that boy over there, it's a very good shot"

It is the Publicity.

You're at a party and you see a very attractive girl.

You ask her phone number. The next day you call and you tell him: "I am a very good shot"
It is the Telemarketing

You're at a party and you see a very attractive girl.

You recognize. You approach her, you shall refresh you memory and said:
"You remember that I am a very good shot? "

It is the Customer Relationship Management.

You're at a party and you see a very attractive girl.

You rise, you settle your clothes a little, you approach her and you serve him a drink. You open the door to him, you pick up his bag when he falls. You offer him a cigarette and you tell him: "I am a very good shot."

It is the Public Relation.

You're at a party and you see a very attractive girl.

She approaches you and tells you:
"I heard you're a very good shot."

It is of Branding (the power of the brand)

You're at a party and you see a super nice girl very attractive.

You mates with the guys, you make very fine reflections, you wads mouth, you do nothing at all and you come home empty-handed.

It is the reality of the market.

Small puzzle. You must cross all nodes with the (s) radius (s) lazer. Good headlock!

The management puzzle

Petita Wikipedia

 " Fuck your race Â" or  " to fuck your race Â" is an insult common in France among young people, mainly from the urban working classes. Sometimes regarded as a racial slur because of its reference to race , it often has little to do with the actual or perceived race of the speaker. Some also denounce the insult as being homophobic or sexist gender of the person referred.

Controversy over the racist character

. In France , a racial insult is punishable by imprisonment and fine ^[1] .  : Entering the racist character of the term  "  race of your bum," the ^17th Chamber of the Correctional Tribunal of Paris in a judgment of 23 June 2005 indicates that the injury was not inherently racist and relaxes the accused ^[2] Â:

• communa character:  " fairly widespread in some circles, especially among many young people, whatever their" origin "or their sense of appartenance »
• semantique analysis:  " Expressing usually a mix of violent despite an uncontrollable anger, it is indifferently used as an interjection â €? presence of a third party is not essential â €? particularly hurtful or insulting, the origin of the third victim being then by no means decisive. [...] Like other insults in the same vein, henceforth become common â €? otherwise common â €? such as "your race", "son of your race" or "whore of your race," continued the expression does not stigmatize the particular origin or real or supposed identity of the other returning it to the imaginary race of all those that the speaker intends, at this moment, apart from him. [...] By referring the caller to a race â €? word very emotionally charged and unanimously outlawed â €? not otherwise qualified or specified, the performative about wants, raising the moment of metaphoric and indistinct race of intruders and unwelcome to maudire.  »
• contextuelle analysis: the court is also observed that about including  "  race your" are frequently used between persons of the same origin, either in the  "  Ruea show" or in Å? works of fiction .

Richard Malka , lawyer at the Bar of Paris comments on the decisionÂ:  " The term is employed indisputably offensive, which does not prevent it actually happening in everyday language. People use it without necessarily target the race. [...] For the qualification of racial defamation is retained by the court would have required that the statements are expressly religion or origins of the person. However, this does not seem to be the case. The court did not retain the character of racist insults, but he said not to say that this phrase is not offensive. This decision does not surprise me. The courts take many precautions on the notion of racial defamation. They do not want the notion of racism extended to anything and everything and do so only when it is really characterized, that the intention of the person can be proved. [...] In this case, a new trial under the charge of simple insult can not be reopened because the requirement for such offense, says "press", is three months. 3 ] [...] In this case, the plaintiff was mistaken in speaking of qualifying injury raciale.  " ^[3]

Fize Michel, the French Centre for Ethnology , notes, moreover, about the frequent use of such insults among Young Persons:  " We must be careful however to take the words in the first degree. The "Fuck your mother" and other "Fuck your race" are primarily verbal jousting, the staging of the challenge between friends. Codes, more than insults at the ordinary sense. The fun here is more important than the intention to harm, injure. 4 ] Plus nuance, un rapport de mutelles de sante sur les conflits de travail au sein de l' Ã?ducation nationale note que les expressions à base de « ta race » gardent une composante de racisme ordinaire même s'« il s'agit moins d'un procede de stigmatisation que d'un usage ludique de la visibilite ethnique impose par le contexte pluriculturel des cites. » ^{[ 5 ]} Moreover, suburban teens continue to say their attachment to their famille.  " ^[4] More shade, a report mutelles health on labor disputes in the Ã? National Education notes that the expressions Based  "  race your" keep a component of everyday racism even Himself to " this is less a process of stigmatization as a recreational use of ethnic visibility required by the multicultural context of the cities.  " ^[5]

Controversy over homophobic character

. It should be noted that the court did not rule on the character possibly homophobic or sexist of injury, which includes the term connotes  "  enculeÂ", although French law also punishes those kinds of comments ^{[6 ]} . However, the dictionary of the French Academy ( "  stupide or contemptible person") and the Treasury of the French language computerized ( " [Without prejudging of my sisters sexual] Profanity addressed to a person regarded as contemptible stupid, devoid of courage.  ») give a sense free of any reference to sexual practice .

 ^{[ 8 ]} . The insult continues to be regarded by some as belonging to homophobia, especially by the defenders of the dignity and rights of homosexuals ^[7]  ^[8] .

Origin and significance of complement your race

Dominique Caubet, professor of Moroccan Arabic at the National Institute of Oriental Languages ​​and Civilizations , explained the term of your / her mother or, more violently, because of its strong  "  charged" semantic, your / his race, by the influence of the Moroccan suburbs French . . The author sees a transposition of employment similar to baba (father) in this language ^[9] . .) (The use of structures modeled directly insulting the Arab or imitating them, as  " cursed be your religion race Â" is evidenced more generally in the language of immigrants Maghreb or their descendants , including the literature ^[10] .)

Expressions his / your race / mother are used so as impersonal as interjections , isolated or nona:

 " race fucking her! I naze.  »

 " chair, her mother, she gêne. »

 " Ã? Feared, his raceÂ! »

From personal way, they come in complement of the name of a insulteÂ:

 " fucking fucks his race. »

 "  Fuck of your Merea" (!)

These expressions can come in direct object of a verb normally intransitive , either as personal or nona:

 " Festen, FestenÂ! He torn his mother ...  "( Jamel Debbouze ) = Festen is extremely good.

= Tu as vraiment la trouille  " You flippes your race, Batarda! » ^[11] = You really scared

 "  race. your bar" = encamped Get out!

 "  mere. its raining" = It's pouring.

In the latter case, the use of the term may be laudatory ( "  tearing his raceÂ") or derogatory ( "  race your bar").  " His mother and race are used to mark the intensity therefore, the high degree, and function as particle enonciative. Â" (Dominique Caubet, ibid.)

. The meaning of  "  raceÂ" varies in contemporary urban French , where he can take the meaning of  "  genre» ( «Â It was a liar like all those of his race »), and more the commonly accepted ^[12] .

In contemporary culture

• Â "Â Â Fuck of your raceÂ" Â? Hey ... Hey ... now everything is clear. Although ... Fuck what raceÂ? Of all your race, or no. (Not easy to navigate in this pataques of metissageÂ!) The guy was still hard to do two things at once (talk, act and think, hey, it's been troisÂ! But the third is optional). The insult was reduced AA: Â "Â Your raceÂ! Â Â" What crawl forever (in addition to the cove that you take the figure), or erect the great principle in elementary, my dear Malcolm X or YA! (Suzanne Dracius) You straighten up, you bomb the torso ... ^[13] (Suzanne Dracius)
• And found this old rocker, dazed bum to the bone, strumming a guitar in front of a rotten log fire in the Gobi desert. (Claude Pelieu) While WSB Dita:  " Ã? Will teach you a bum of your race rotten to the artist, I need my j'gagne vie.  ' ^[14] (Claude Pelieu)
• . The term neighbor's Whore of your race is the title of a novel by Serge Jacquemard ^[15] .

Here is a model of authentic letter for those wishing to change employer!

Letter of resignation!

EXCELLENT!

This letter comes from real BELGIUM

Sir,

I beg you to please consider this letter as a formal letter of resignation. I'm really bored at work in this box and it is mostly your fault. You are the worst head of department that I had the misfortune to know.

Your personal skills are virtually non-existent, you can not raise the slightest spark of loyalty from your employees, you have less charisma than a carpet and I'm sure the average member of any Boys Band is endowed a better business sense than you. In addition, you truly give the impression of being the offspring of a consanguineous marriage.

I never like to work here. My salary has always been null and if I stayed so long, it's because I used the phone and mailing machine mailroom to start my own small business in black mail. Besides, my brother-I borrowed the company car every weekend for the taxi and make ends meet. Oh, and I forgot the very profitable little  " business" sales of office supplies that allowed me to install a stand at the fairs and flea markets in the region.

I have been offers of work at one of your direct competitors. In fact, I had offers for over a month but I needed this period to finish copying all your files Customer confidential and all your spreadsheets. Do not expect me to sue under the fallacious pretext of any operation of industrial espionage. I should mention that I have in my possession, preserved in a safe place, all the negatives of photos taken at the last office party. If you wish not to put your marriage in danger, I suggest you keep yourself tile.

As for the negotiations on my notice, I'll let you judge. You can liberate me from today (with the balance of my leave and a generous bonus of departure) and you never hear from me. On the other side, it is quite possible that you want to follow the proceedings and force me to stay as long as the notice states in my contract. In this case, it is quite possible that during this period I am taken to violent attacks of Tourette Syndrome and I am then unable to stop myself from spitting everywhere, abuse clients or discontinue the appointment you with future funding partners.

See for yourself.

Cordially. PS: You stink

Passing on Paris late December to ensure the promotion of their CD, Naturally 7 decided to offer a lucky few, a small private concert, and live from the Paris metro, and more precisely in line 1. They take a tube of Phil Collins "In the air tonight" to the delight of the lucky ones who were at odds.

Try, it's terrible! Personally, I confirm, my feet are cons!

It's funny, try!

Your right foot is it smart?

What follows is so funny that it puts to challenge any understanding. And I'm willing to bet that you try at least 50 times to see if you are able to play your foot. But you can not!

Try .....

1. While you're sitting at your desk, lift your right foot from the floor and let him make circles in a clockwise direction of a clock.

2. While you make circles with your right foot, draw the number 6, in the air with your right hand.

Your foot changes direction!! (The con ...!)

I had it said .... And n 'is nothing you uissiez do.

It is designed ... That is all!