Umoor.EU - Humor and Buzz

At the turn of the century a little girl imagines the phone of the future. Of course everyone takes it for a crazy starting with those parents. The idea is a bit of "We dreamed Sony did it." Except that we add the ridiculous situation ... A pub very complete, beautiful, funny and not too short ...

In the category "You've seen when you're drunk" these girls take a sacred layer!

Yes I know this is awesome

Weird video, a girl shows us a breast, then 2, then the keys ... But without any emotion or playfulness ... We do not understand well or she is coming!

To you to tell me!

You too can afford a car that you want to ...

There was once a little boy who was walking on the sidewalk pulling a flattened frog on a rope.

He came to a brothel and knocked on the door. The madam replied and asked the boy what he wanted.

I want a sexual relationship with girls. I have money to pay.

The lady (who really had no morality) says why not, and made him enter.

Do you have girls with diseases?

Of course not, replied the lady.

I have heard gentlemen say they had to go to the doctor after having layer with Irma. This is what I want.

Since the little boy was so anxious and there was money, the lady told him to go in the first room on the right.

The boy went to the room, dragging behind him his frog flattened. He returned ten minutes later still dragging behind him his frog, and paid the lady.

Why did you pick the only girl with a disease?

It's simple: this evening, my parents are going out to dinner and leave me at home with the babysitter.

So what?

Then, after they are gone, the babysitter will want me because she loves fiddling with little boys She will then get the disease I just get here.

When my parents come back, Dad will go renew the babysitter, he'll jump in the car and it will catch the disease in turn.

When Dad comes back, he'll make love to mom and she'll catch it too!

Tomorrow morning, when everyone is gone, the milk will come home to kiss my mother, he will catch the disease.

So what?

And then, he's the buggers who crushes my frog!

A parody of the nth tube Koxie: "Beware of idiots". A Parody signed Cauet

A mother enters her daughter's room she finds it empty. A letter on the bed. She imagines the worst opening the letter, darling Mother,

I'm sorry to have to tell you that I left home to live with my boyfriend. It is the love of my life. You should see him, he's so cute with all his tattoos and piercing and super moto. But that's not all my mommy darling. I'm finally pregnant and Abdul said that we will have a wonderful life in his trailer in the middle of the woods. He wants many children with me is my dream too. I finally realized that marijuana is good for health and relieves pain. We will grow and give our friends when they are short of heroine and cocaine so they do not suffer. Meanwhile, I hope that science will find a remedy against AIDS Abdul to get better. He really deserves you know.

Do thyself no worries for me mom, I'm registered 13 years, I can pay attention all to myself and the little experience I lack, Abdul can compensate with his 44 years. I hope to visit you very soon so you can get to know your grandchildren. But first I'm going with Abdul with her parents in a caravan so we could get married. Like that, it will be easier for him for his residence permit.

Your daughter loves you.

PS: I tell you some nonsense mom, I'm at the neighbors! I just wanted to say that there are things worse in life than the report card that you find on your bedside table.

I love you

We do not say my corridor, but my body is resting.

We do not say it's the Amazon, but this is where I live.

It does not say a can opener, but a nightclub doorman.

We do not say it is chetif, but it is at the hairdresser.

It does not say the mistress of school, but the teacher takes the plane.

It does not say jerry, but I laugh.

It does not say the tone rises, but the ugly girl takes the elevator.

It does not say javeliser, but I've read.

It does not ungrateful, but a big dwarf.

It does not say the minnows, but the kid was constipated.

It does not say casually, but deposit exhausted.

It does not itch, but vomit.

It does not say a poet, but a horn.

It does not say a bastard, but one year of lost.

It does not say a biroute, but a two-lane road.

It does not say water damage, but the sailors.

We do not say I panicked, but I want a guy.

We are not saying adequacy, but there questions.

We do not say I calculate, but I'm peripatetic.
We do not say I am very healthy, but I like big boobs.

It does not say a conquistador, but a narcissistic fool.

We do not say I have overcome, but I'm multi-anal.

It does not say how the harvest, but peter as a God.

It does not say a microprocessor, but a small depth.

It does not say a winemaker, but a sex therapist.

It does not say a man without equal, but a eunuch.

It does not cut butter, but circumcised.

It does not say barbecue, but hair on the buttocks.

We do not say good paella, but the maid is absent.

It does not say melody in the basement, but park the car underground parking.

We do not say I fiddle, but I have three friends.

A girl and her boyfriend are going to a club. When it was the turn of the daughter of order a tour, she told him she had heard of a wonderful new drink and he should try.

It controls for itself and its usual beer for her boyfriend she ordered two glasses: the first contains a measure of cream of Bailey and the second contains a measure of lemon juice!

She gives the following instructions:

 "OK you have to drink the Bailey and keep it in your mouth after you drink lemon juice and you're trying to keep everything as long as possible in your mouth!  »

It seems doubtful but decided to try!

First, the Bailey: a pleasant feeling of warmth, softness, texture and creamy mouthfeel good!

Then lemon juice:

T + 0.1 sec: cream Bailey quail

T + 0.3 sec: the figure of the boy turns the color of lemon juice

T + 0.6 sec: the boy hesitated between vomit or swallow the solution, he decided to swallow!

T + 1.5 sec: she said softly in his ear:

"It's called the revenge of the pipe! "